Though part of a larger module overall, this section of the Design Practice module has been a bit of a roller coaster, as these things usually are for me, however, I'm not sure I like where I have ended up. The Collaborative brief ended quite strangely, and though over all I was happy with the result, I didn't feel I was well prepared for the weeks to follow. This all became evident within the first few days, when as a class we were posed some pretty difficult questions. Everyone had their own way of dealing with them, some were extremely confident - I wasn't one of those. To have to think in such detail about where I saw myself in industry really terrified me, especially as I knew we were coming to the end of the year - a typically stressful period at the best of times.
This significantly stunted my progress with the brief at hand, and after a week or so of panic, I began to get to grips with this new idea of writing our own briefs. It took me a long time, too long, to figure out what it was I wanted to get out of this project. The answers were simple really, but again I fell into a trap of trying to predict the outcome of every decision before it is made. This is a massive issue for me. I fear making the wrong decision and so am constantly second guessing myself - I guess this is evident throughout the year. Thinking back to the digital module, the personal issues I was having made it impossible to worry about the work, I just did it and got a great deal out of it - including my best grade yet. So it seems the more opportunity I give myself to worry and over think a project, the more I'll do it.
After this very slow start I finally pinned down what I wanted to achieve. The main one was to get into After Effects as soon as possible and start to really gain an understanding of the software. This in itself confused me as to how I would go about making sure I produced a project that was suitable to submit. I became very aware through the project that I was cutting out huge parts of the development process, lacking a strong concept and generally ignoring everything I'd learnt so far. It soon became a conscious decision - I have proven that I can deliver a project with a solid concept, I can story board and develop ideas in new and interesting ways, and I feel that the goals I had set myself in this module would have greatly suffered had I set out to do the same again. I was also aware that working with motion graphics always takes longer than I anticipate, again reinforcing my decision to limit the amount of actual design development.
Towards the end of this project is where I started to really let myself slip. Lots of the worries from earlier in the project came back, and looking back I can now see that was because I hadn't documented the early stages of the project thoroughly enough, and so the initial decisions I had made - I simply forgot. I also know, and was told many times that I just needed to get on with things, stop thinking and start doing. I think a lot of my failings towards the end of this project can be explained by a simple lack of motivation. The question is then - how can I address this in future? I think the answer to this lies within the briefs I pick in future. As the rest of the course is going to be self directed, I need to really think about the kind of brief I want to answer, I think the most important thing is to make it fun. I need to pick briefs that are fun, or can be made fun, about topics that I personally find interesting and that allow me to progress, rather than stand still. In a sense I'm happy that I had such a hard time with this project, as it's made me realise what I need in a brief, and what I definitely do not need!
To answer the all important question though, the reason I wanted to go down this path of developing technical skills - Do I want to continue with motion graphics? Yes. Definitely. I did not achieve as much as I wanted to with this module, even within After Effects like I wanted to, but it's only left me wanting to do more. I think that's a clear sign that this is what I want to do. Now I just need to make sure that this decision doesn't make me close doors for myself in other areas, motion graphics will be something that evolves and develops with me through my design practice - it's not the be all and end all of everything I do.
Things to address over summer.
- Identify the kind of brief that I want to answer in future - keep it fun.
- Spend time actually being creative with the software I want to develop in - without the stress of a deadline.
- Do things that remind me why I love what I do, have some fun!
- See this as an opportunity to do some of the things I've always wanted to!
- Get some more contacts within industry, take a few day trips to studios and find out exactly how and where motion graphics fits into the world.
- Figure out a way to deal with the stress and workload.
- This is my last opportunity to figure out a way of working that doesn't lead to excess stress and an inability to deal with things - I need to really utilise it.
- Do not neglect my blog.
- I want to do so much over the summer, and I see this as a great opportunity to get into a better blogging routine. Even just 10 minutes every night would solve nearly all of my problems, and help me organise what I need to do the next day. A project diary and daily action plan combined.
To summarise, I have made a bit of a mess of the past few weeks. I think this is to do with my own worrying, making me think instead of act. It's a pretty vicious circle, and I need to be able to recognise when this is happening and take steps to rectify it in future.
